Post by anewme on Jan 29, 2009 12:50:59 GMT -6
Subject: FW: Humor: Stimulus package explained!
Sometime this year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment.
This is a very exciting new program that will be explained here using the "Q
and A" format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children are expected to
repay the Chinese.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.
-------------------- Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the
U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al
Qaeda.
If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, Chile,
and Guatemala.
If you buy a car it will go to Japan and Korea.
If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India
If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.
And none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America! You can keep the money in
America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or by
spending it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those
are the only commodities & trades the U.S. doesn't import - yet!
Sometime this year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment.
This is a very exciting new program that will be explained here using the "Q
and A" format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children are expected to
repay the Chinese.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.
-------------------- Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the
U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al
Qaeda.
If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, Chile,
and Guatemala.
If you buy a car it will go to Japan and Korea.
If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India
If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.
And none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America! You can keep the money in
America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or by
spending it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those
are the only commodities & trades the U.S. doesn't import - yet!